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Sorry for taking so long since my day 2 reply, the weekend hit and I haven’t been able to type my continue better late than ever (see the "Welcome to the End of Horror" thread for an explanation) solo dance routine while everyone else had gone home and returned their rented tuxes... so, Waltz time... hmm hmmm hmmmm mm mmm... I dance divinely... thank you....)

I liked the image of the broken pocket watch, as well. Introduced first then only later learn its significance. I have to admit that I hadn’t picked up that Howard had given his life to Christ in that moment, even after reading the entry, until Ian mentions it. Of course, I can be thick at times. :-)

Mark makes a good point about the effectiveness of the slowly changing Ian/Kyle story. To add to this, Kyle’s a jerk, glory grabbing, who cares nothing about anyone who’s in his way. At least, that how we see him thru Ian’s eyes initially. In the final Ian/Kyle scene, Ian is able to see into the other a little more deeply, with more insight. Doesn’t mean Kyle’s still not a dick – pardon my French – but it’s never that simple, and Ian comes to this understanding. And yes, the hose bit was very cool (no pun intended).

Another good point of Marks is Dave’s use of water, played against the constant return to desert scenes / valley of bones. Though in ES’s case, the two twirl and spin around each other throughout the narrative, I was reminded of the similar device used in The Grapes of Wrath, where the first scene is that of dry, arid, parched earth – the drought of the Dustbowl – and by the end of the book the characters are huddled from incessant rain and flooding. Water and desert, two elements always handy in our line of work.

I know everyone, Dave and Mark included, love the use of skeletal bone-clicking sculpture thingy... didn’t really ring my bell. I understand the symbolism of that scene in the cellar with Ian and the bones clinking but, though nothing’s impossible with God, if the stalker wasn’t actually down there hiding (which I thought he was until the scene suddenly ended), how were those bones clicking together more and more? I don’t know, it’s just me, but the use of this sculpture seemed a bit much in light of the power of the rest of the book. The meaning of Ian’s conversion is so much better shown as it reflects off the various people he meets over his 8 week journey. This is, in the end, a people-to-people book, and when the author tries to further illustrate his point with metaphorical scenes like that of the clicking bones in the basement it feels too-much-ish, and pulls one from the story. At least, it pulls me from the story.

There were tons of debate / consideration points this time around, especially around Ian / Rebecca and what was said, not said. Day 3’s got a lot of meat to it. But I’m running out of space so I’ll just add my quarter to one more point...

I did notice how the story sometimes builds up now and then to a conflict scene, then we jump ahead. Kind of like the old “edited for television” movies, when the tone got too suspenseful the big black bar rolled past and we found ourselves well into the next scene. Since the suspense-related parts didn’t mean much to me in this book, at least not as much as the conversion / people parts, I noticed these cuts, but didn’t mind them as much. But of course, as a writer, it tells me something should have been done differently because, as a reader, I shouldn’t “notice” anything re: structure, method.
“Never let them see you act.” – Jimmy Durante.
“Never let them see you write.” –me

Dan Keohane
www.dankeohane.com