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(Hanging out on the dance floor long after the celebrants have left and moved on with their lives - read my post under the kick off "Welcome to the End of Horror" thread for an explanation.... so, to start my Tango...)

I read Mark's and Dave's Structure posts. Very cool.

Side note: The word written (on the garage door I believe) was in Cain's blood?? Didn't pick up on that... and I'm glad I didn't! <g> That would have been too upsetting to my dog-loving side. I thought the words were big, though, and that's a lot of blood. I remember Ian thinking it looked like blood but....

Anyhow, regarding the structure. As I think I said in my first post, I liked the week-by-week layout of the book. Mark's point that it could, and at times did, lead to unnecessary detail was well made, but to me, the story was about the slow evolution of Ian's discovery of where his faith fits into his world, or worldview, and how it might - or might not - apply to his own writing (or lack thereof). Man, that was a long sentence.

Mark played devil's advocate and suggested alternatives, such as cutting down the number of weeks, or even all the way down to one day. The latter (one day) would not work, not without making the book all flashbacks, and that's never a pleasant read. It might have still worked with less weeks, I suppose. Tightened up a few storylines / events. Since as Mark points out that Dave's main emphasis and push (and acknowledged by him in his reply post) is the story of Ian's growth and self-discovery, this main direction shouldn't be sacrificed. The idea of perhaps one or two less subplots is intriguing - removing the Kevin or Jaret characters, or somehow combining them, possibly.

It's good to hear that the original idea of having every day covered (as Dave says, there would have been a lot of Cain walks) was cut to move the plot along. That would have been too much, I think. But in general I like interesting structures in book, if they're carried off well. I'm currently redrafting an early novel of mine which takes place over 60 days. Each chapter heading is how many days left, i.e. the first is chapter "60", then "59", down to "0". Early in the book every day is covered, but to move things along once all introductions are done and plots in full motion it jumps from chapter, say, 52, to 47, and recaps any minutiae that might be relevant in the skipped days. It is too easy, as D&M both mention, to feel obligated as an author to track every point along the timeline when the timeline is so relevant in the story. But that's what editing's for. A final point on this kind of structure is that when it's used, a good outline is needed - maybe not point by point, but the timeline should be clear in the author's head when writing that first draft. And, most importantly, how/where/why it's going to end.

I will agree with Mark on the too-close parallel between Ian-Howard, and Rebecca-Katherine. The part that most struck me was both katherine and Howard had secret portfolios which revealed their faith to Reb & Ian. I liked both stories very much, but when told together such striking similarities feels too convenient, could pull a reader from the story. I remember at one point - learning the name of the bone structure was called Ezekial and THEN learning Howard's middle name was Ezekial – thinking that Katherine had known Howard. That would have been too much (actually, Howard's middle name was too much and wasn't necessary).

But I feel very strongly - and this may be because how Ian's and Rebecca subplots running parallel until the end when they come together is one of the major attributes of this story which hit home with me more than I can explain in such a limited space. Keep Rebecca's subplot, it's too strong, and important to lose.

Ok, what else -

Ah, Cain. As I read the book, I avoided Dave's F*I*F posts, but I did sneak in real quick on day two and briefly caught the note about Cain's fate being left out. I expected there to be a huge, razing blaze after that. It would have been good to show Cain at Ian's feet in the last chapter, but since the house didn't actually burn down, and Ian wasn't very distraught, I'd think most people could assume the doggie lived. :-)

Dave's last point hits the nail right on the head for me: "I'm not sure I could be convinced to reconceive the book as a thriller."
I think it works as intended - the problem is in marketing. None of the blurbs on the covers really say it's a suspense novel and that's important - if it is marketed as suspense, then the reader will go in with the wrong expectation. It's not, it's a contemporary / literary (I never know what to call "normal" books) with occasional dark twists. You need those twists, to relate to the horror-writer angle and show the darkness in Ian's (life/heart/whatever) as he wrote his earlier novels, but overall I didn't see it as a thriller and to try and re-do it as one would mean to sacrifice the stories of the people themselves, and how each deals with their faith, new or old, in God or each other. ok, now I'm starting to sound like a jacket blurb.

On to day 3 as soon as I rest my feet.
       
Dan Keohane
www.dankeohane.com